Over the past few decades, constitutional rights have eroded in the United States due to the rise of welfare statism and media-supported presidential dictatorship. The slow collapse of U.S. liberty into tyranny of the majority has produced an intellectual opposition called anarcho-capitalism. The “an-cap” movement believes with Thoreau: “That government is best which governs least. … That government is best which governs not at all.” But how can a state-free society deal with crime? An-cap thinkers offer two solutions. This essay disputes both.